(for Hex and Remus) Pull or Push?

[toujours_impur]

Sirius was in a pretty good mood. He had suggested they go down to the pub for dinner tonight, and had offered to buy the first round while Remus found them somewhere to sit, which is why he went directly to the bar to grab a pair of pints. To no one's surprise, however, he got distracted from his mission by the incredibly fit bloke sitting at the bar. He looked the man over from head to toe and gave him a warm, inviting smile out of sheer habit. He wasn't going to pull while he was out with Remus, honest. ...Not again anyway. Probably. Possibly. Hell, Moony would understand if he did, right?

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[just_hex]

Hex was barely even begun, still on his first pint of the night. He didn't even have a buzz, but the few sips he had already taken had quenched his thirst. He caught that smile and had smiled in return, then tilted his head a bit to beckon the bloke closer.

It wouldn't kill him to pull if he could.

[toujours_impur]

Sirius' smile widened as his invitation was wordlessly accepted, and he slid down the bar to stand next to the man. "Evening, gorgeous," he purred, leaning an elbow on the bar and resting his cheek against his hand as he gave the man every bit of his focus. (Well, except for the bit that was pretty much always on Remus, whether his friend believed that or not.)

[just_hex]

"Just Hex is fine," he replied, smiling in return. His hand snaked out and found the man's waist. He touched as naturally as he breathed, both equally unconscious.

[wandandawolf]

Remus had kept an eye (and an ear) out for Sirius, fully expecting him to be waylaid as he got some drinks. He'd strained a bit sitting at their table, trying to peer past and through the various people between him and the bar.

Finally deciding to chuck it in and go in search, he arrived just in time to see Sirius greet the other man with a 'gorgeous' and Hex respond with the easy, unpracticed intimacy he remembered. "Yes," he murmured, taking a deep breath, and placing a warm hand on Sirius' other shoulder, a mix of protectiveness, reassurance and amusement fluttering for control in his chest. "Yes, he is rather gorgeous, aren't you Hex?" He continued, peering past Sirius to greet the man on the other side with a toothy grin.

"Sirius, this is Hex. I told you about him, remember?"

Eyeing the pints in front of Sirius he took one and had a sip, staking territory as much as ensuring his beer didn't get traded away. And well, it wasn't like he hadn't come across Sirius making a conquest before, it just...normally hadn't involved someone Remus had been interested in too. "Doing well then?" he asked as he swallowed, chugging half the pint, the size of the glass covering most of his face besides curious eyes and raised eyebrows.

[toujours_impur]

The inkling of suspicion Sirius had felt when the man gave his name (for really, how many Hexes did one meet in a day?) was confirmed when Remus joined them, and his demeanor immediately changed with the confirmation. His smile never wavered, but it grew decidedly cooler as he eased away from the warmth of Hex's arm round him, instead placing his arm round Remus' waist, making his loyalties clear.

"Ah, Remus. Yes, of course I remember." He tilted his head and regarded Hex with an expression almost as if he was sizing up the competition--which in a way he was. "Lovely to have a face to go with the name." He gave Hex a nod and picked up his own pint, taking a swig as he leaned into Remus a bit--an offering of support and comfort, of course, nothing more than that.

[just_hex]

Hex's smile was broad and bright as he slid off the stool to stand before Remus.

"So good to see you, mate!" he said cheerfully and moved in fast, elbowing Sirius out of the way so he could wrap his arms around the man to give him a hug...then lifting one hand to hold his face and give him a more-than-friends kiss on the mouth. It was brief and casual, but spoke to the fact that Hex knew Remus well and was quite comfortable with kissing him in public.

"And this is your mate Sirius. Lovely. Lovely to meet you," he smiled, letting go of Remus to offer Sirius a hand to shake.

[wandandawolf]

Remus had been really quite comfortable where he was. But Remus was a man of iron control and placid facade, so only people who knew him very well would have been able to tell that his one-armed hug in response was not as tight as Hex', or to understand the rather raised single eyebrow as Hex leaned in for the kiss.

However brief and casual, Remus wasn't casual in return: that eyebrow was still poised and demanding as he pulled back from the kiss as quickly as he could, something almost like bemusement on his face that didn't quite bleed into actual offence. The bloke had dumped him for the other bloke he'd been in love with while they were dating, and now he kissed Remus in bars? 21st century people were weird.

Or maybe it was just Hex.

Without having to see, Remus knew that Sirius would be steaming, and so disentangled himself politely enough, keeping his features affable, and laid a hand on Sirius' shoulder - again, as some instinctive combination of reassurance and warning. He didn't want Sirius to lay the first punch. "...Well, seeing as Sirius here has already got our drinks," Remus explained, perfectly affable, "we should probably be heading back to our table. But it was nice to see you again. C'mon, Sirius." He was already turning to go.

[toujours_impur]

Ah, but Sirius wouldn't be so easily led away after that. His own hand twitched toward the front of his leather jacket, toward the inside pocket which kept his wand within easy reach. He knew better than to actually draw it in the middle of a Muggle pub, but that didn't mean the instinct and the temptation weren't there anyway.

"Really. Is it?" he asked as he looked at the outstretched hand and back to the man's face without touching him, his smile completely gone now, eyes sparkling dangerously with anger and something else; jealousy, a jealousy that was churning in his gut, hot and restless, making him likely to do something rash and stupid to give it an outlet. He was supposed to be dead, and Remus was supposed to be dumped, and here was this bloke all smiles and hugs and--and kisses that he was not bloody entitled to.

[just_hex]

Hex sized up the situation, but fast. Remus was uncomfortable and perturbed. Sirius was bloody jealous and angry. Hex knew he'd overstepped.

"Oh, I see," he said softly. "I'm sorry. I thought you two were just mates. I didn't realize you were together. I'm sorry."

To him it was clear as day. They were so much more than mates, that much was obvious. Never mind that Sirius had been pulling him, and willingly. It wasn't Hex's place to pass judgment on what sort of relationship they had. Maybe it was open, though it didn't seem to him to be that way. Not at all.

[wandandawolf]

Well, there wasn't any way he could control this, could he? Best thing to was to just clean up the mess as best he could.

"...We're not together," Remus murmured, feeling spent all of a sudden, and too drained to be anything but honest. "But we might be, one day," he agreed, looking at Sirius with a sort of wistful longing, and tugging gently at Sirius' arm. "Come along." he said to his sort-of-better-than-friend, firm but not mean about it, even if his tone was enough to make a first year feel very guilty. "Thank you, Hex."

[toujours_impur]

Remus' tone was one Sirius was all too familiar with, and this time he listened, trying to ignore the tendrils of panic that Hex's mistaken observation, and moreover, Remus' response, had caused to bloom in his chest.

He grabbed the remaining pint from the bar and nodded curtly at Hex without meeting his eyes, following Remus obediently toward their table as his mind raced, trying to find something safe to say once they were settled.

[wandandawolf]

"We should probably finish our drinks and head home, eh?" Remus said after they'd sat down, with a certain comfort in his tone despite the briskness. He reached over and patted Sirius on the back of the hand, trying to reassure him. Merlin only knew what he thought.

"...Sorry about that," Remus started, before shaking his head. He wasn't entirely sure what he was sorry for. "He can be a bit of a pillock. Thick head." Taking a deep breath, he made himself look in Sirius' eyes, and smiled. "Not nearly as pretty as yours, Pads."

[toujours_impur]

"Yeah," Sirius agreed quietly, staring down at the table. Now that they were on their own, he knew he'd overreacted, overstepped. His reaction to meeting Hex hadn't been one of a friend, even a best friend.

He looked up at the apology and shook his head. "Wasn't your fault. He didn't--" but he didn't know how to finish that sentence, so he trailed off and took a gulp of beer. When Remus caught his gaze and said that, simple and sincere, without the teasing or sarcasm he usually couched his compliments in, he felt himself actually flush, his heart rate speeding both from fear and anticipation. God, he hoped it was loud enough in here that Remus couldn't hear it.

He took a deep breath and forced a smirk that lacked its usual cockiness. "Obviously not," he agreed before the pressure of meeting Remus' gaze became too much and he glanced away, toward the bar, just for somewhere else to look.

[wandandawolf]

Remus kept his eyes trained on Sirius, aware of every flush and every avoidant movement. His friend - his best friend - was more than jittery, acutely self-conscious, but it didn't seem to bode that Pads was on one of his downwards swings.

"...Leave your drink," he suggested, but it was at least half of an instruction. "Let's head home. I don't know about you, but I don't feel much like a drink now." Remus was already getting up out of his chair, all gangly, easy movement, determined to give Sirius a cue to make him follow as he bundled himself out onto the street.

[toujours_impur]

Oh, good, home, where he'd be alone with Remus. That was much better. But Remus was already standing, so Sirius compromised, getting to his feet even as he picked up his beer and chugged the rest of the pint, not willing to follow that particular order. He felt like a bloody drink, albeit a much stronger one. He was pretty sure there was no firewhisky in the flat, but regular old whisky would do just as well.

He shoved his hands into his pockets (a tight fit, but a move he was well versed in) as he fell into step next to Remus. "...So that was Hex," he remarked, anything to fill the silence before Remus could, because he was afraid of what else his friend might say.

[wandandawolf]

Oh, that was wonderful, really. Most important conversation and Sirius was avoiding it. If Remus wasn't too busy lost in thought, he might have snorted in response.

"Yes. Yes it was," he replied, chewing thoughtfully on the inside of his cheek. What to say, what to say?

"You do know I'd cut off my right arm rather than hurt you, don't you Pads?" Remus sounded vaguely curious as he asked it, eyes piercing as he glanced across to the man striding down the street next to him. "Because I would, you know. Up to the elbow at least."

[toujours_impur]

Sirius frowned in surprise, glancing over at Remus with a nod and a shrug. "'Course, yeah, I know," he replied. Now, his mind added, although he wasn't half so afraid of Remus hurting him as the other way round.

[wandandawolf]

"And you know I've survived you thus far, yeah?" Remus flashed him a brief grin, making the other half of the argument. Mind like a steel trap and all. "Bodes well for the future. I mean, I'm not, y'know, exactly a wilting flower."

[toujours_impur]

Sirius exhaled heavily as Remus continued. "Thus far, yeah," he repeated, voice taut with emotion. If Remus insisted on pursuing this topic of conversation right here on the street, he certainly wasn't going to make it easy for him, no matter how much part of him was excited, near-elated, even, at the thought of finally talking about this, of finally doing something about how they both felt. "Mates tend to do that rather well."

[wandandawolf]

Oh, for fuck's sake. Remus bit back the bark of rueful laughter, and his own frustration - at himself, mostly, for being such a complete berk that he didn't see what was right in front of his face - made him grab for Sirius' hand and hold it in his own.

"Mates don't do this," he pointed out quietly. "Mates don't get jealous, and Merlin knows I've been catty enough about some of your conquests. Mates..."

He trailed off with a sigh, and squeezed Sirius' hand. "This is the only thing that makes sense. Of either of us. Of both of us, and it just us now. You can tell me I've read this completely wrong, but I would like to ask you out." He paused, and dropped Sirius' hand to reach up and snake his arm around Sirius' shoulders, bringing him in to murmur close and loving in the other man's ear. "Will you please be my date, Sirius Black?"

[toujours_impur]

Sirius bit the inside of his cheek as he listened to Remus, feeling the carefully constructed boundaries he'd kept for years being smashed apart with every word. His breathing hitched, eyes closing for a moment as Remus' breath ghosted over his ear. "Moony," he said helplessly, but any further words stuck in his throat. He was afraid to say yes and equally afraid to say no.

[wandandawolf]

That fear, he understood. He'd felt it himself, etched in sideways glances and moments of furtive longing. Always afraid of discovery. Always unsure. But he understood Sirius, and finally all those pieces he couldn't fit together (his jealousy, his insecurity, his refusal to do more than date or shag) made a coherent whole.

So he used his arm to hug Sirius closer, almost cramming him against his side as they walked along together, something in him rising to the moment. "I've got you, Pads," he said, and kissed his hair. "Always have, always will." It was more than just a promise. "I know you're worried. I know you're scared. But I've got you." He wasn't about to abandon his best friend-and-more now. "Everything will be all right."

[toujours_impur]

Sirius sagged against him a little as he was tugged close, tucked against Remus' side. He was grateful for the contact, for the little gestures of affection that he was pretty sure at this point he would never get enough of, but Remus couldn't know what would happen if they changed who they were to each other. God, he wanted this, wanted him, and had for ages, but if they took this step, there was no going back. Their relationship would be irrevocably changed, and if things didn't work out...Sirius could lose his best friend in the process.

He'd already lost one--two, if you counted that traitorous rat--and he only had the one left. Without Remus...well, he wasn't sure what he would do. The stakes had never been higher, really.

He exhaled a heavy sigh that trembled a little with the emotion clutching at his chest and murmured, "Can we talk about this at home?" He was far too sober to be able to deal with all of this.

[wandandawolf]

Remus felt the tremble as much as he heard it, but he only chuckled fondly in response. "...Yes, of course." Sirius would probably want a drink and he wouldn't mind a cuppa himself.

"Do you want to Apparate home, then?" He asked quietly. They did still have a tube station to get to, a train to catch...the Ministry might have put them up in one of the newest parts of London, but Canary Wharf wasn't the most accessible - but then London in some ways always was and would be a maze.

[toujours_impur]

Apparating when one was emotionally distraught was generally not the best idea, but Sirius hadn't ever splinched himself yet, and he didn't intend to start tonight. The alternative was several minutes of awkward silence or even more awkward conversation as they avoided the topic now hanging over them for the duration of their commute home.

"Yeah, probably best," he said with a faint nod, reluctantly moving away from the warmth of Remus' side and scanning their vicinity for a dark alley they could duck down to get away from muggle view.