Sirius Orion Black (
toujours_impur) wrote2016-07-23 04:38 am
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(for Hex and Remus) Pull or Push?
Sirius was in a pretty good mood. He had suggested they go down to the pub for dinner tonight, and had offered to buy the first round while Remus found them somewhere to sit, which is why he went directly to the bar to grab a pair of pints. To no one's surprise, however, he got distracted from his mission by the incredibly fit bloke sitting at the bar. He looked the man over from head to toe and gave him a warm, inviting smile out of sheer habit. He wasn't going to pull while he was out with Remus, honest. ...Not again anyway. Probably. Possibly. Hell, Moony would understand if he did, right?
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"Really. Is it?" he asked as he looked at the outstretched hand and back to the man's face without touching him, his smile completely gone now, eyes sparkling dangerously with anger and something else; jealousy, a jealousy that was churning in his gut, hot and restless, making him likely to do something rash and stupid to give it an outlet. He was supposed to be dead, and Remus was supposed to be dumped, and here was this bloke all smiles and hugs and--and kisses that he was not bloody entitled to.
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Hex sized up the situation, but fast. Remus was uncomfortable and perturbed. Sirius was bloody jealous and angry. Hex knew he'd overstepped.
"Oh, I see," he said softly. "I'm sorry. I thought you two were just mates. I didn't realize you were together. I'm sorry."
To him it was clear as day. They were so much more than mates, that much was obvious. Never mind that Sirius had been pulling him, and willingly. It wasn't Hex's place to pass judgment on what sort of relationship they had. Maybe it was open, though it didn't seem to him to be that way. Not at all.
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"...We're not together," Remus murmured, feeling spent all of a sudden, and too drained to be anything but honest. "But we might be, one day," he agreed, looking at Sirius with a sort of wistful longing, and tugging gently at Sirius' arm. "Come along." he said to his sort-of-better-than-friend, firm but not mean about it, even if his tone was enough to make a first year feel very guilty. "Thank you, Hex."
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He grabbed the remaining pint from the bar and nodded curtly at Hex without meeting his eyes, following Remus obediently toward their table as his mind raced, trying to find something safe to say once they were settled.
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"...Sorry about that," Remus started, before shaking his head. He wasn't entirely sure what he was sorry for. "He can be a bit of a pillock. Thick head." Taking a deep breath, he made himself look in Sirius' eyes, and smiled. "Not nearly as pretty as yours, Pads."
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He looked up at the apology and shook his head. "Wasn't your fault. He didn't--" but he didn't know how to finish that sentence, so he trailed off and took a gulp of beer. When Remus caught his gaze and said that, simple and sincere, without the teasing or sarcasm he usually couched his compliments in, he felt himself actually flush, his heart rate speeding both from fear and anticipation. God, he hoped it was loud enough in here that Remus couldn't hear it.
He took a deep breath and forced a smirk that lacked its usual cockiness. "Obviously not," he agreed before the pressure of meeting Remus' gaze became too much and he glanced away, toward the bar, just for somewhere else to look.
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"...Leave your drink," he suggested, but it was at least half of an instruction. "Let's head home. I don't know about you, but I don't feel much like a drink now." Remus was already getting up out of his chair, all gangly, easy movement, determined to give Sirius a cue to make him follow as he bundled himself out onto the street.
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He shoved his hands into his pockets (a tight fit, but a move he was well versed in) as he fell into step next to Remus. "...So that was Hex," he remarked, anything to fill the silence before Remus could, because he was afraid of what else his friend might say.
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"Yes. Yes it was," he replied, chewing thoughtfully on the inside of his cheek. What to say, what to say?
"You do know I'd cut off my right arm rather than hurt you, don't you Pads?" Remus sounded vaguely curious as he asked it, eyes piercing as he glanced across to the man striding down the street next to him. "Because I would, you know. Up to the elbow at least."
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"Mates don't do this," he pointed out quietly. "Mates don't get jealous, and Merlin knows I've been catty enough about some of your conquests. Mates..."
He trailed off with a sigh, and squeezed Sirius' hand. "This is the only thing that makes sense. Of either of us. Of both of us, and it just us now. You can tell me I've read this completely wrong, but I would like to ask you out." He paused, and dropped Sirius' hand to reach up and snake his arm around Sirius' shoulders, bringing him in to murmur close and loving in the other man's ear. "Will you please be my date, Sirius Black?"
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So he used his arm to hug Sirius closer, almost cramming him against his side as they walked along together, something in him rising to the moment. "I've got you, Pads," he said, and kissed his hair. "Always have, always will." It was more than just a promise. "I know you're worried. I know you're scared. But I've got you." He wasn't about to abandon his best friend-and-more now. "Everything will be all right."
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He'd already lost one--two, if you counted that traitorous rat--and he only had the one left. Without Remus...well, he wasn't sure what he would do. The stakes had never been higher, really.
He exhaled a heavy sigh that trembled a little with the emotion clutching at his chest and murmured, "Can we talk about this at home?" He was far too sober to be able to deal with all of this.
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"Do you want to Apparate home, then?" He asked quietly. They did still have a tube station to get to, a train to catch...the Ministry might have put them up in one of the newest parts of London, but Canary Wharf wasn't the most accessible - but then London in some ways always was and would be a maze.
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"Yeah, probably best," he said with a faint nod, reluctantly moving away from the warmth of Remus' side and scanning their vicinity for a dark alley they could duck down to get away from muggle view.
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"If there was an award for apparating, you'd probably win that too," Remus muttered with some warmth as Sirius joined him, pulling out his wand. While apparating and strong emotion was not exactly an advisable mix, Remus honestly couldn't think of a moment where Sirius hadn't combined magic with strong emotion, even if it was often joy or simple competitive need. Besides, the last thing Sirius needed was to have Remus be a total worry wart and knock him off his stride. "Think you can beat me home?"
And then he was gone in a blink and a grin.
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He waved his wand mid-sentence, and finished it as he reappeared in their flat "--don't know what you're doing." He tucked his wand away and made directly for the kitchen to pour himself some damn whiskey so he'd be properly ready to deal with...whatever was to come next.
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"...Actually, get me one too, would you please?" Remus' own desire for alcohol was more celebration than wake, but it seemed like a good idea.
He ended up on the couch, legs spread a little, arms out along the back. If Sirius wanted to sit next to him, he could; if Sirius was too uncomfortable at the prospect, he could have the armchair: he could pace about on the rug: he could lie on the bloody carpet for all Remus cared.
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He took a deep drink and then stared into the glass. "...So,' he said quietly, darting a brief glance at Remus before returning to contemplating the amber liquid and slowly melting ice.
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Taking a far smaller sip, he then sat the drink down on the floor and pulled off his shoes. They might as well both be comfortable. "So. You're scared, aren't you?" he murmured quietly, trying to tease Sirius out a little.
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He licked his lips and raised his gaze to Remus, his expression wary more than anything, although it wasn't Remus he was wary of.
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"Well," he started, "I'm not scared. I am an idiot, though. For not seeing it. And I'm sorry I ignored all the signs," he continued, taking the burden onto himself. It was better that way, wasn't it? Easier. Familiar.
Remus took a deep breath of his own, and looked up to fix his gaze on Sirius': "But I do love you. Apparently we're practically a couple as it is, so why not get the extra benefits, eh?"
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