Sirius chuckled faintly at Remus' words, because yes, jealousy looked just the same on him as on anyone else, Moony.
"I know we do," he admitted, raising his head and resting his chin on his knees. The closeness they had, atypical of even best friends but that had worked for them for years, that was what had made being in love with his best friend all this time bearable. "That's not what I mean," he murmured, but he wasn't sure how to put what he did mean into words.
He swallowed hard, wanting desperately to believe those reassurances. "But I wasn't your boyfriend through all of that," he said softly, then laughed, an almost-bitter sound. "I don't even know if I can be a proper boyfriend." He wanted this, wanted Remus, wanted a relationship with him, he'd be mad not to, but the thought of being with only Remus? It would be...challenging to break years of habit of following his dick wherever it led him. Which was part of what he was afraid of.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2016-08-13 12:10 pm (UTC)From:"I know we do," he admitted, raising his head and resting his chin on his knees. The closeness they had, atypical of even best friends but that had worked for them for years, that was what had made being in love with his best friend all this time bearable. "That's not what I mean," he murmured, but he wasn't sure how to put what he did mean into words.
He swallowed hard, wanting desperately to believe those reassurances. "But I wasn't your boyfriend through all of that," he said softly, then laughed, an almost-bitter sound. "I don't even know if I can be a proper boyfriend." He wanted this, wanted Remus, wanted a relationship with him, he'd be mad not to, but the thought of being with only Remus? It would be...challenging to break years of habit of following his dick wherever it led him. Which was part of what he was afraid of.